David Austrem

David Austrem

Name:	David Austrem
Aliases:	Davecake
Brief history in time:	Spent most of my life doing nothing. Now I’m doing something in the hopes one day I’ll have enough money to do nothing
Hobbies?	Taking bubble baths in Fukushima water
How would you describe yourself in 3 words?	Personally, I wouldn’t.
What was your most important life lesson so far?	You know you watched too much porn when you spit on the petrol noozle before filling up your car
If you had 3 wishes, what would the 4th one have been? (what nearly made the cut but didn’t?)
What’s your current favourite joke?	Why don’t foot fetishists ever win anything? They like the taste of defeat.
What’s the meaning of existence? (in 3 words or less)	Eating, my girl and not using commas
Favourite sound?	The “Ping” of an M1 Garand