Ninety days ago I stopped eating cakes, biscuits and chocolates. I removed cookies, pastries and ice cream from the prominent places they’d occupied on my plates for several decades.
Had I suddenly gained new knowledge about sugar, diet or brain function? Nope!
While I’d never experienced any health concerns or felt I had weight issues, it’s fair to say I had a reputation for a sweet tooth. I was aware that these confections weren’t doing me any good, and it’s quite possible that they may have been storing up long-term damage. But I wasn’t planning on giving up – I was enjoying them!
Then three months ago I joined in a conversation during a break at a conference. The delegates were describing a session that they had just attended in which a woman ‘addicted to chocolate‘ had been ‘cured‘ on the spot during that hour. Their admiration for the event caught my attention, and it so happened that later in the day I was walking to the evening entertainments with session leader John Pihlaja and a participant who was checking the details with John. As I listened in, I absorbed the coaching for myself – thinking ‘I could try this on myself’.
What strikes me as particularly interesting was that I’d felt no pressing need to give up sugary snacks and deserts. I hadn’t even thought about the issue as problematic – merely had a background awareness that it would be good if I could.
And now the transformation happened instantly, with no formal coaching or therapy. In fact, with no personal discussion at all: I’d simply traced the steps that John had described.
This challenges many of the conventional wisdoms about changing habits or breaking addictions. And I’m certainly not suggesting there’s anything special about me. I’ve not been engaging a super willpower or feeling withdrawal symptoms. I’m surprised at how easy it’s been. No cravings, hardly a moment of temptation. Even when presented with a particularly impressive chocolate tart at my mum’s birthday party.
There’s been no journaling and no public commitments or declarations (unless you count this – which is a report and not a promise).
So what’s been going on? I think about it like this:
What is it we consume when we consume food?
- Nutrients
- Meaning
The Nutrients part is easy. I can get my nutrients in any number of ways. Likewise for satisfying my tastes. What were those sugary assortments tasting of anyway? For sweetness I can eat fruit. Delicious with cream, by the way, which I’d not put on my list to give up.
It’s the Meaning section where all the interesting action takes place. The sequence of questions that had resonated with me was:
- ‘What does the addictive substance or activity promise to give you?’
- ‘Does it keep that promise? (To which the answer is always No).’
- ‘What other ways do you have of getting what it was promising you?’
At the end of the dinner that evening, I gave the desert cake a miss. John picked up a couple of the complimentary chocolate mints, saying he was taking them for the woman who’d featured in his session.
‘She’ll probably eat them’, I said.
‘I’m certain she won’t’, he replied.
Now I don’t know about her, but I’ve still not eaten mine!
If you’d like a coaching session to change something significant in your life, whether redirecting a habit or starting something new, you can book a 1:1 virtual one-hour session directly with me via this Calendly link: