Risk-taking, mistake-making, and lifelong learning<\/a>,\u00a0TEDxFSCJ.<\/p>\nSo far, the story seems reasonable, if that happens to be true of her child, yet she might be cautious about generalising from this instance, especially as it hints at her own greater failure as a parent to have frightened her child to that extent.<\/p>\n
Still, let\u2019s accept her claim that it\u2019s human to avoid admitting error, as we may be vulnerable to others\u2019 potentially negative perceptions of us.<\/p>\n
Her next statement, though, is an outrageous generalisation. \u2018Mistakes, errors, failures are frightening, intimidating and even shameful. We are afraid of failing, forgetting, being wrong.\u2019<\/strong> Now this may be true of some people in some circumstances, but it not generally true of most people in most circumstances, as far as I can tell. And if it turns out that we disagree about that after we\u2019ve considered the arguments, then at least we have a testable hypothesis, which could be explored beyond Kathleen\u2019s questionable mothering evidence.<\/p>\nAre there cases of people ordinarily not being afraid of making mistakes, failing, forgetting, being wrong? Of course there are \u2013 all over the place. Starting very close to home, I\u2019m typing this article. I\u2019ve made several typing mistakes along the way. I had no fear whatever about making those mistakes. The computer helpfully underlines what it identifies as possible errors, and I read through before sending. Most of the typing mistakes have so little emotional impact on me that they are barely noticed before being corrected. If I make an unusually large number I may be irritated for a moment or two. If it carries on, I might take a break. I don\u2019t mind admitting these mistakes and I wouldn\u2019t expect people to have negative perceptions of me, unless I happened to be in a typing contest and was thus disappointing the punters who\u2019d backed me to win.<\/p>\n
Between us, I\u2019m guessing we could list hundreds of activities we engage in every day which carry risks of mistakes and failures but no accompanying fear, intimidation or shame.<\/strong><\/p>\nI enjoy quizzes, but have no fears about forgetting answers \u2013 in fact it\u2019s on the borderline between what I can and can\u2019t remember that I get most enjoyment. I\u2019m not afraid of failing to catch the post or failing to do all the items on my to-do list today. These are everyday risks I take, in order to get things done that I want or need to do, and sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fail. I prefer success, I like to make as few mistakes as possible, I correct mistakes when I notice them, I am not scarred by failure.<\/p>\n
If we consider more extreme instances, it\u2019s true that I take more care to avoid failing when the consequences of failure are greater. If I fail to cross the road because I have been hit by a car as I stepped into the road, that can be catastrophic. Even here, though, I\u2019m not convinced that my major emotion is fear. I\u2019m not scared of crossing a road, and there are no moments in a routine crossing during which I\u2019m frightened of being hit by a car. I\u2019m aware of the dangers and feel mostly a mixture of alertness and caution, when crossing a road. I feel fear only in the rare instances when I see a vehicle coming towards me at a speed that makes a collision seem likely. That\u2019s a useful feeling, which galvanises me to leap quickly out of harm\u2019s way.<\/p>\n
When you realise that her argument is based on such a feeble premise, the rest of what she says might strike you as bizarre (though increasingly common). This (supposed) fear of failure prevents us from reaching our full potential, she claims. Eh? It prevents us from getting hit by cars or jumping off high roofs or putting our fingers in electrical sockets: parts of our \u2018potential\u2019 we may not wish to reach. So that is good: whereas her argument is that we should not fear failure. \u2018Embrace failure\u2019 she says. She may as well say, \u2018Go damage yourself,\u2019 if she wants you to experience failure at the limits of your health and happiness.<\/p>\n
She also advises, \u2018Reframe your perception of mistakes and failure as a part of the learning process.\u2019 Well, OK, although I don\u2019t need to reframe anything to do that. They are already part of everyone\u2019s learning process, though perhaps less useful teachers than she seems to think. In a self-congratulatory story, Kathleen\u2019s example of learning from a mistake is learning not to hurt someone\u2019s feelings. Then she also learns, from good advice \u2013 not from the mistake itself – to apologise.<\/p>\n
From mistakes we learn specific things not to do again. From failure we may also learn useful limits of ambition or clues about our abilities to recover. If the failure remains a failure about which I do nothing, I learn only the useless and depressing details of that failure. We learn a lot more from success or from the recovery from failure.<\/strong> I wonder if anyone is making TEDx talks with that message?<\/p>\n[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][et_pb_row_inner admin_label=”Row” custom_padding=”0px|||” padding_mobile=”off” use_custom_gutter=”off” column_padding_mobile=”on” make_equal=”off” parallax_1=”off” parallax_method_1=”off”][et_pb_column_inner type=”4_4″ saved_specialty_column_type=”2_3″][et_pb_divider color=”#dddddd” show_divider=”on” divider_style=”solid” divider_position=”top” hide_on_mobile=”on” custom_css_main_element=”margin-bottom: 0px;” \/][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″][et_pb_slider admin_label=”CTA Slider” _builder_version=”3.0.65″ show_arrows=”off” show_pagination=”off” parallax=”off” parallax_method=”off” remove_inner_shadow=”on” custom_button=”off” button_letter_spacing=”0″ button_icon_placement=”right” button_letter_spacing_hover=”0″ auto=”on” auto_ignore_hover=”off” hide_content_on_mobile=”off” hide_cta_on_mobile=”off” show_image_video_mobile=”off” module_class=”cta-slider” auto_speed=”7000″ saved_tabs=”all” global_module=”3536″][et_pb_slide background_color=”#ffffff” use_background_color_gradient=”off” background_color_gradient_start=”#2b87da” background_color_gradient_end=”#29c4a9″ background_color_gradient_type=”linear” background_color_gradient_direction=”180deg” background_color_gradient_direction_radial=”center” background_color_gradient_start_position=”0%” background_color_gradient_end_position=”100%” parallax=”off” parallax_method=”off” background_position=”center” background_size=”cover” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_blend=”normal” allow_player_pause=”off” use_bg_overlay=”off” use_text_overlay=”off” text_border_radius=”3″ alignment=”center” background_layout=”dark” header_font_select=”default” header_font=”||||” body_font_select=”default” body_font=”||||” custom_button=”off” button_font_select=”default” button_font=”||||” button_use_icon=”default” button_icon_placement=”right” button_on_hover=”on”]<\/p>\n